Living with Legends: Hotel Chelsea Blog

Reclaim the Chelsea Hotel!

Now that we’ve swept BD Hotels into the dustbin of Chelsea history, let their onerous regulations also be exorcised once and for all from our fair building!  Remember when they first arrived, and, scowling, stood in our way and physically barred us from retrieving our mail from behind the front desk?  That area behind the desk is a common area that was stolen from us by BD.  And now that they are no more, there’s no reason why we shouldn’t reclaim it.  If you have mail in your box, go back there and get it yourself.  And strike a blow for freedom!
           Also, the desk staff should bring back their TV and their radio: what’s the harm in them listening to a little bit of music or catching the action on the Yankees game?  Especially if it’s quiet in the hotel and there’s nothing going on?

Fellow residents: cast off your shackles!  Move your furniture back into the hallways, and let your pets and your children once again run free in the halls!  (I myself will be rooting through the rubbish to find interesting items to replace my Garbage Art installations confiscated by the evil philistine Glennon Travis.)  Let us celebrate anew the spirit of freedom and non-conformity that has reigned for 125 years at the Chelsea Hotel. -- Ed Hamilton  (UPDATE: Thanks to Artie Nash for sending over the photo of the rules.)

Goons Body Slam Resident, Prowl Chelsea Halls

        Check out Chris Shott’s Observer article on last weekend’s confrontation between hotel layabout David Elder, recently promoted (or was he?) to a position of somewhat greater power, and hotel resident and pro-Stanley Bard activist Arthur Nash.  Amid the hilarious recounting of Elder being chased by his doppelganger, having an unspecified (hopefully noxious) liquid dumped on his head, and drinking a Shirley Temple, Shott correctly points out that Nash never physically accosted or threatened the novice hotelier.  He just gave him a piece of his mind.
            But Shott doesn’t detail the later confrontation that erupted between Nash and one of the gigantic goons Elder hired in response to Nash’s criticism.  According to Nash, what happened on Monday night was that after he retrieved his mail from behind the front desk, he was barred from entering the elevator and menaced by the approximately 6’5”,  275 lb. security guard (who had apparently been instructed to deal harshly with Nash).  After returning to his room to get his camera—he had been instructed by his lawyer to document all confrontations—Nash attempted to take the guard’s picture.  In response, the guard tried to wrench the camera away from Nash and then grabbed him in a bear hug and body slammed him against the front desk, smashing the camera (and Nash’s hand) against the counter repeatedly until the batteries flew out.  The guard continued to wrestle with Nash as Nash tried to use the house phone to call the police.  A resident who had witnessed the altercation, and who corroborated Nash’s story, said that in all his or her time at the Chelsea, he or she had never seen anything so frightening.   Nash eventually did manage to call the police, but they decided they didn’t have sufficient cause to arrest the guard.  (The photo of one of Nash’s injuries speaks volumes.)            
        The day before, Sunday, two other goons—with Elder standing behind them--had hassled Nash as well, chest butting him and trying to force him into the back stairwell off the lobby where there are no security cameras, and of course, no witnesses.  And then, on Tuesday afternoon, two goons were caught milling around outside Nash’s apartment, in an apparent attempt to intimidate Nash and his girlfriend.  (I don’t even know where the hell we’re living anymore—some kind of alternate, Bizarro Chelsea.)
           One mistake in the article: Piri Thomas is not Elder’s father-in-law.  This would imply that someone, presumably a woman, had actually consented to marry Elder at some point in time, a patent absurdity.  Piri married Elder’s mother, making him Elder’s step-father (and I’ll bet he wishes he would have paddled young Elder’s butt a bit more severely while he had the chance!)
  [By the way, Arthur’s show in DC is a scaled down version of his much larger traveling show “Infernal Machines, The Evolution of US Capitol Punishment,” and it opens on May 16^th, with the grand opening scheduled for May 23^rd, at the National Museum of Crime and Punishment in Washington D.C.] -- Ed Hamilton

Chelsea Hotel On Lockdown

Now that hotel layabout David Elder has finally gotten a taste of power, it seems to have gone to his head completely.  He has taken to wearing bad suits, apparently cast-offs from the cut-rate funeral parlor, and worse, he has hired his own goon squad to stand in the lobby, to stalk the halls on un-specified errands of intimidation, and to walk down the street to the deli with him when he goes out to get a pack of Twinkies.  One of the goons has already assaulted a resident.  Any one of us could be next.

Do I really need to mention that this flies in the face of the beautiful tradition of freedom and tolerance that has prevailed at the Chelsea for 125 years?  It didn’t take this creep long to show his true colors, and I, for one, would rather see the building torn to the ground, brick by brick, than to see the home and the ideal that I have grown to know and love reduced to such indignity. -- Ed Hamilton

Chelsea Hotel Finances: Elder, Thugs, and Rubenstein Overpaid

As we’ve indicated earlier, Legends was able to obtain the court papers relating to BD NY Hotels vs. Chelsea 23^rd Street Corp.  Interestingly enough, these papers include an itemized list of the hotel’s expenditures over the last few months of 2007.  Rest assured, we are studying these closely to see where our rent money is going.
          Anyway, one of the highlights of the list are the payments to hotel layabout David Elder: $365.25 in July, $131.37 in August, $706.65 in November, and three payments of $706.65, $478.90, and 455.06 for a whopping $1640.41 in December.  (Unlike all the other expenses listed—including items such as carpet, carpentry supplies, furniture ordered by Stanley, accounting, legal—these payments to Elder are unexplained, though one time it does say, simply, “expenses”.)  Scarcely what we would call a valued employee—though he did get quite a raise in December.  And let’s not forget about the spacious apartment he has been allowed to use for 9 months free of charge!

            Also, between July and December, Marlene and BD spent $146,143.59 of the hotel’s money in legal fees, presumably at least in part to battle Stanley Bard, and another $26,285 on payments to accounting firms, presumably to dig up dirt on the old man (those accountants could learn a thing or two from the lawyers).  In addition “security requested by Marlene Krauss” runs the hotel $13,655.25. What the hell?! you ask.  Well, remember the goons that looked like rejects from the Sopranos that sat in the lobby for awhile?  These fine fellows were no doubt necessary  to prevent Stanley from overpowering David Elder and stealing the Larry Rivers painting from the wall.
            Perhaps most interesting, at least from our point of view, is the money paid to Rubenstein for “public relations/crisis management”: two payments of $45,000 each!  (Well, one for $45, 212.58—probably charged Marlene for copies or something.  Lawyers ain’t got nothin’ on them.)  And what did Rubenstein do, exactly?  Issue a couple of half-assed press releases and refuse to take calls from the media?  The whole Stanley Bard ouster turned into one hell of a big, fat, hairy public relations disaster for both BD and the minority shareholders.  Marlene, why didn’t you just offer us $90,000 not to write about you?  We wouldn’t have taken it, but we certainly would have appreciated the gesture. -- Ed Hamilton  (Photo: David Elder proudly displaying his sign making skills.  Maybe that's why he gets the big bucks.  By the way, that sign recently returned to bite him in the butt.)

BD’s Ouster Represents a Great Victory for Anti-Gentrification Forces

Well, BD hasn’t come back, and as such, I just want to step back and point out—before we lose sight of this in our ongoing struggle--that their ouster represents a great victory for the residents of the Chelsea Hotel.  And it’s a victory not only for us, but for tenants of New York as a whole, and for all those allied in the fight against gentrification.  For here’s this huge real-estate firm,  whose owners came out and stated at the outset that they intended to evict the permanent tenants, gut renovate the Chelsea, and turn it into a fancy boutique hotel.  And where are Born and Drukier and their underlings now?  It seems we’ve evicted them!
        Sure, we had help from the downturn in the economy, and from the division between BD and the shareholders, and certainly from the press and the outraged public, but basically we got rid of them by organizing and staying together.  We lost 15 of our fellow residents, and we haven’t yet won the war, but we’ve won a huge battle.  And if a bunch of self-centered artists such as ourselves can do it, surely others can do it as well.  Let’s throw the greedy profiteers out of our city and return it to the real New Yorkers. -- Ed Hamilton (Photo: Robert Lambert's most recent painting.)
 

David Elder's Twin Stops by The Chelsea

A tipster writes in to report that David Elder's twin made an appearance at the Chelsea last evening and Elder himself was none too pleased. He tried to bar his long lost relation from entering the ballroom.  When he came face-to-face with his doppleganger -- a reflection of his guilty conscience --he fled in terror to cower in the inner sanctum of his office. You can run Elder, but you can't hide. The truth will follow you to your grave.  The tipster even sent along some photos for our enjoyment.

Marlene Krauss Launches Desperate Hotel Chelsea Ad Campaign

Now that she has fired the elite BD Hotels from their job of managing the Chelsea Hotel, Marlene Krauss has launched an aggressive outdoor ad campaign to attract a new manager.  Obviously, she has quickly come to the realization that anybody who walks in off of the street could do a better job than Chelsea Hotel Board Member David Elder. If you're walking by on the street and got a spare moment come in and apply. Our standards are not real high at this time.  NO EXPERIENCE NECESSARY -- OBVIOUSLY.
 

Chelsea Hotel Historian Weighs In On The 125th Anniversary

Chelsea Hotel historian Sherill Tippins has written in to provide us with this fascinating tidbit that we hadn’t known before:

      "I just rediscovered this little factoid while editing Part I of my book:
       The Chelsea Hotel's birthdate (the day it opened and residents began moving in) is Oct. 1, 1884."

So, the 125^th anniversary of the opening of the Hotel will be on Oct 1, 2009. 

Update: Piri Thomas Thwarts David Elder’s latest Rip-Off Attempt

David Elder’s various plots to fleece the elderly are not bearing much fruit lately.  His attempt to take Stanley Bard to the cleaners has now cost him and Marlene (and of course the other shareholders) a ton of money, as well as the last shred of their already tattered credibility.  And now a California judge has thrown out Elder’s appeal of an earlier decision that granted his stepfather, renowned author Piri Thomas (Mean Streets), the right to collect the $1.2 million in dividends of which Elder sought to deprive him.

To recap: Elder administers a trust, set up by his deceased mother, Betty Gross Thomas, consisting of shares representing 16% of the Chelsea ’s ownership.  The 81-year-old Thomas, a former Chelsea Hotel resident, is supposed to receive the dividends from this trust.  In 2001 Elder decided he wasn’t going to pay the dividends to Piri anymore.  So Piri sued Elder for the $1.2 million which Elder had failed to pay him. (Piri still had to pay taxes of $494,000 on the money!) 

This dispute has been going on since 2001, with Piri winning every round.  Even after they reached a settlement in March 2005—with Piri generously agreeing to pay Elder $177,500, presumably for his legal bills--Elder sued again, based on a bogus interpretation of a new law that had been passed by the California State Senate.  The trial judge tossed the case out, saying, basically, that it had already been decided.  Elder appealed again, which brings us to the present case, where the appeals court just ruled on April 10^th that there was no merit to Elder’s case, saying it was “. . .nothing more than an attempt to resurrect their prior claim under the guise of a new claim. . .”

At one point in their long battle in the courts, Piri sued to remove Elder as a Trustee for breach of trust.  For you see, Elder has a vested interest in depriving Piri of his money (as well as in prolonging the case), as, once Piri dies, Elder becomes the beneficiary of the trust.  As part of the earlier mentioned settlement, Piri dropped these charges—only to be sued by Elder in return.

            Although it appears that Elder is being manipulated by lawyers who are filling his head with dreams of becoming some sort of millionaire real-estate mogul, it doesn’t change the fact that he has proven himself both morally and fiduciarily unfit to administer the trust in question.  For this same reason, he should be removed from the Board of Directors of the Chelsea Hotel.
        Anyway, congratulations to Piri for his victory in a fight he did not seek.  Justice has been done, and let’s hope that this is finally the end to a truly shameful saga of greed and moral depravity. – Ed Hamilton

Asbestos Threat at Chelsea Hotel Revealed

     Legends has recently been able to obtain the court documents filed in BD’s suit contesting their termination by Marlene Krauss.  Among the more disturbing revelations is BD’s claim that there is still asbestos in the building.
     This is a ticking time bomb, and it is outrageous that the residents of this building have not been informed.  This could affect the health of each and every resident in the Chelsea Hotel.  (I guess now we know why you’re seldom around.  For God’s sake, there are children and ill people living here, Marlene.) When were you planning on telling us this?  We demand to be informed of the full extent of the asbestos threat.

Here is the relevant passage from the letter.

Marlene's Shame

Be sure to check out Chris Shott’s piece in The New York Observer about BD’s shameful attempt to evict a dying man, Jann Paxton.  So what about it Marlene?  Is it so important to win your war against Stanley Bard that you’re willing to abandon ever last shred of common decency?  We think that, as a show of good will, you should at least pledge not to evict Jann Paxton. -- Ed Hamilton

Marlene's War

Things are getting a little bit ridiculous here at the Chelsea.  This powerful, egomaniacal businesswoman, Marlene Krauss, who should have better things to do with her time, has, for the past 20 years, been engaged in a mindless and destructive Vendetta against the majority shareholder and former manager of the Chelsea Hotel, Stanley Bard.  Recently, with the aid of BD Hotels, Marlene was able to oust Stanley from the position he had held for almost 50 years.  Time to uncork the Champagne, right, Marlene?
         Surely you jest.  For we have reason to believe that Marlene is still going after Stanley, apparently determined to dig up the dirt on him—whatever that might turn out to be—in order to force him to sell his beloved Chelsea.  Marlene apparently so hates this small, elderly man--with an unreasoning ferocity bordering on psychosis--that even the wholesale demolition of the Chelsea is unlikely to sate her unholy bloodlust.  Will she rest when Stanley is thrown into prison to spend his last few years scrapping with young toughs and busting up rocks in a quarry?  We doubt it.  Even when Stanley is dead and buried, we expect Marlene to dig up his bones and grind them to dust with a mortar and pestle—to season her foul witch’s brew.

We have come to believe that the feud with Stanley is the root of Marlene’s disagreement with BD.  She wouldn’t let them do their job because she was more concerned with using this place to get back at Stanley.  Since BD—though hardly known for their good works--wouldn’t cooperate to this end, they’re out of here.  (We’ll have more on this in a later post.)

So where does that leave the tenants of the Chelsea?  Well, obviously, right smack dab in the middle of the battlefield.  Now we have no manager!  Can you believe that?!  Nobody’s running the place at all.  Nobody is making up the schedule for the workers, and nobody is here to pay them.  And what if there’s a fire, or some other kind of emergency?  Who’s going to make sure that the residents get out safely?  All kinds of transients and other strangers are in and out of this building every day.  Some of them may be crazy, or on drugs.  Who’s going to deal with such potentially explosive situations?

Anyway, regardless of Stanley’s supposed sins, why should we residents have to pay for them?  Is it just because we respect him and want him back?  Or is it that Stanley was the one who brought us into the Chelsea, and Marlene won’t rest until she wipes every last vestige of his influence from the building?

Stop it, Marlene!  Back off.  Enough’s enough.  If you can’t bring yourself to return the Chelsea to the Bards, then at least hire a manager who will run the place the way it should be run: as the haven for the arts it has been for 125 years. -- Ed Hamilton

Artie Nash Gets on the Books and You Can Too!

BD Hotels sued Arthur Nash in housing court, alleging that his apartment was not rent stabilized.  But last week, when the judge asked BD to provide evidence to that effect, they couldn’t do it, and didn’t even try.  Arthur, on the other hand, had a letter wherein BD admitted that another Chelsea Hotel resident was rent stabilized.  The judge took one look at this letter and threw the case out.  (He dismissed the case with prejudice, which means that BD can refile if they come up with new evidence, but chances are they won’t be able to.)
        Arthur’s case is important for another reason as well, because he represented himself, and it shows that tenants don’t need to back down from BD and their high priced lawyers.  Judges in housing court don’t necessarily expect tenants to have lawyers, and they are likely to be reasonable if you do your homework as Arthur did, and know your rights.
     Artie weighs in "... Krauss and Elder's attorneys came on with bullying tactics and it was under this pressure at least a half dozen residents i'm aware of left the hotel. there are probably more. But from the start their case consisted of a bluff; they got called on it and crumbled, actually admitting to [Judge Wendt] they had no proof to support the claim that has had us in courtrooms, researching and writing legal motions since last november. Moreover opposing counsel conceded they'd be unlikely to find that proof in the future. Some would call this type of lawsuit 'frivilous'. If there is a 'round two', the only consolation might be that we'd get to use the rest of the research in support of our counterclaims."

BD No Longer Opposes Termination

I went to the arbitration hearing today and it was cancelled.  According to BD's attorney, BD has withdrawn its petition which was seeking to block their termination.  So BD is no longer in the house!

No BD at the Chelsea Hotel?

No one from BD has shown up yet at the Hotel as of 9:30 a.m.  Reportedly the locks on the manager's offices have been changed.  Maybe Marlene Krauss can send in some armed guards to keep them out like she did the Bards.  We're afraid they might cart off pieces of the famed staircase. 

Arbitration Between BD and Chelsea 23rd St. Corp.

Legends has managed to obtain a copy of the arbitration filing that will ultimately determine who will manage the Chelsea Hotel.  What happened in this case is that BD filed suit against the hotel (essentially Marlene Krauss, since she is the one running the show), alleging that Marlene fired them without cause, and that she has failed to pay them the Incentive Fee that she owes them.
           In a March 14, 2008 letter, Marlene (through a lawyer) charged BD with “Default and Willful Misconduct.”  The “default” charge means they didn’t perform certain of their duties (for instance, perhaps, as we speculated in last Thursday’s post, they didn’t renovate rooms as they were supposed to); as for the “willful misconduct,” that, too may involve some of the problems we discussed on Thursday.  We will have to wait until we can get copies of the supporting documents in the case to know for sure what Marlene alleged.
            Anyway, Marlene used these charges to justify firing BD, and also for withholding BDs Incentive Fee, which BD claims (and they say Marlene agrees) is a whopping $2,717,285!  Marlene gave BD a month to leave the hotel, which means they should have been out by April 14, but they will apparently continue to manage the hotel (at least this is what they say) until the arbitration case is decided.

            The case is scheduled to be heard on Monday May 5, although, of course, a decision probably won’t be reached for awhile. 

            (The document also reveals BD’s astonishing claim to have increased net operating income of the hotel by 225%, revenue per available room by more than 35%, occupancy from 73% to 88%, and room nights sold by 41%.) -- Ed Hamilton

Big News from Housing Court

Artie Nash has won his case against BD's lawyers!  Guess those banners won't be going anywhere after all. We'll post an interview with Artie a little later.

Imaginary Hipsters Shell Out Big Imaginary Bucks to Party at BDs Revamped Chelsea Hotel

     So guess what, a real reporter -- as opposed to electronic kind -- has had the sense to go down to the courthouse and look at the papers.   Chris Shott of The Observer reports that Marlene has fired BD for "willful misconduct" (wich no doubt includes some of what we discussed yesterday.).  BD, in turn is suing the Hotel for $2.7 million in "incentives" it says it is owed for increasing the hotel's profits 225%!  Wow -- and they said Stanley was cooking the books!  I wonder where all that new revenue could have come from.  Certainly it couldn't have been from renting rooms, since they slashed the rates.  Must be from that new spa in the basement and that rockin' club on the roof -- you know the one with the new express elevator jetting the hipsters skyward.  -- Ed Hamilton

From Catastrophe to Crisis: BD Out, Fife In

We have received reliable information to the effect that, as of May 5, BD Hotels will no longer be managing the Chelsea Hotel.  They have reportedly been fired by minority shareholder Marlene Krauss, Harvard MBA, who, together with lobby layabout David Elder, controls the Chelsea’s Board of Directors.  (Alternately, it’s possible that the courts may stall the transition: though Marlene has already sent BD a termination notice, they are contesting it.) (Photo of the hoteliers during happier days.  As usual, David Bernstein is missing.)

Sub-Prime Crisis Derails BD’s Plans

To the best of our knowledge, here’s what happened: BD, with the connivance of the minority shareholders, had planned all along to buy the Chelsea Hotel.  To accomplish this they needed a smoking gun to pressure the Bard Family into selling the building.  But apparently Stanley ran a pretty tight ship: teams of accountants working 24-hours-a-day could find no such smoking gun.  So the Bards have no reason to sell.  And now, due to the sub-prime crisis, BD Hotels—which we hear had a chunk of its assets financed by Bear Stearns — has no money to buy the building anyway.  So the “two guys with cell phones,” Richard Born and Ira Drukier (who own BD), have been forced to retrench in order to focus on their leveraged properties, and now will have their hands full simply managing the buildings they own.  They can’t afford to buy any new buildings at this point.

Marlene’s Beef

Over the course of BD’s tenure, plumber’s daughter turned corporate raider Marlene Krauss has reputedly had several general complaints:

1. No one from BD does any work (this is directed specifically at Director of Operations Glennon Travis, who sits in his office all day and rarely takes an active role in hotel operations, or in addressing guest’s and resident’s concerns)

2. The supposed general manager, David Bernstein, is rarely on the premises

3. BD is not fixing up the hotel.  In particular, BD is not renovating rooms, as promised, but merely warehousing them

4. The hotel is reportedly losing money (or at least not making as much as it did under Stanley Bard), due to the slashing of room rates, and also, in part, to residents withholding rent

Besides these general complaints, in the past week Marlene has had to come to the hotel repeatedly to micromanage the repair of a resident’s apartment. That, together with a few other things that we’ll discuss in a future article, appears to represent the straw that broke the camel’s back.

Fife to Head Chelsea

If our sources are as reliable as we believe them to be, good riddance to bad rubbish.  The ass-clowns of BD have truly been the Marx Brothers of hotel management, and we’ve all had a good laugh, but now it’s time to move on.  Which brings us to the next question: who will Marlene hire to manage the hotel now?  She promised the rest of the shareholders that they would make more money with Stanley out of the picture, but instead they are losing money.  She’d better make the right choice this time.

            We can’t read Marlene’s mind, but the rumor—nearly unbelievable, and we hope it’s not true—is that she intends to appoint David Elder as manager of the hotel!  So here’s the story: we are going from this (supposedly) elite hotel firm that was going to transform the Chelsea into an exclusive boutique hotel, to a complete nincompoop and moral midget with absolutely no experience doing anything, much less managing a large Manhattan hotel.  (Elder’s “job” at the Chelsea seems to consist of hanging out in the lobby, occasionally attempting to coax members of our community into spying for him.  For the past few years he has been engaged in a court battle with his stepfather, noted Author Piri Thomas, attempting to deny the elderly man his dividends from the Chelsea Hotel.)  If BD wasn’t qualified, then how is this lunkhead—who apparently is being manipulated by Marlene and various lawyers-- going to do the job?

Obviously, Marlene thinks she can continue to control Elder, but we’re not so sure; we think she may be creating a monster.  If Elder is manager, will he be the one reporting the profits?  Taking into consideration what he’s doing to Piri Thomas, what makes Marlene so sure she can expect to collect her dividends?

Haven’t the residents of this hotel been through enough?  Please, don’t torture us like this, Marlene.  This is going to be like the episode of The Andy Griffith Show where Barney Fife gets to be Sheriff for the day.  Only, I fear, without the laughs. "Nip it in the bud!" -- Ed Hamilton

Shout It From the Roof Tops

Artie has a new banner to celebrate the news!  We've all heard that Marlene Krauss has handed BD their walking papers.  Check back for more details as they become available.  Read the posts from earlier this week to catch up on what you've missed.

Douche Bag Chelsea Hotel Manager to Get the Boot?

We’ve heard from multiple sources that today is Director of Operations Glennon Travis’s last day at the Chelsea Hotel.  (And if it’s not today, then it’s reportedly coming up soon.) Our only question is, what took so long?  In his brief tenure here at the hotel, Glennon has managed to alienate nearly everyone he has come into contact with: residents sane and otherwise, guests, employees, union reps, reporters, you name it.  His habitually obnoxious and abusive rejoinders to anything from mere pleasantries to valid questions by concerned residents, have led us to speculate on this blog that BD Hotels may be using him as a kind of one-man harassment crew to drive out the rent-stabilized tenants and union employees.  In that respect we can see how he might be a useful employee, and if that was BDs intent, I’m sure they’ll keep him on the payroll at one of their other properties.

Glennon himself, however, doesn’t seem to be fully cognizant of this adverse effect he has on people (or perhaps he just can’t help himself), and in that sense he is truly pitiful.  Our advice to him is to seek counseling, and for God’s sake to find a job where he doesn’t have to interact with people on a routine basis.

            How will this gaping void be filled?  (Okay, two questions.)  And is this just the beginning of the end for BD?  (Three questions!)  As annoying as he is, let’s not forget that Glennon is merely the sacrificial lamb.  BD bigwigs Born and Drukier (and of course General Manager David Bernstein—who you damn sure don’t see around here much) have been setting Glennon up as the fall guy all along, because once they saw the public outcry and media firestorm that resulted from their slimy takeover of the iconic Chelsea, they knew that nothing good was likely to come of the deal.

But rest assured, no one is fooled, least of all board member Marlene Krauss.  BD has screwed this place up from the perspective of residents and shareholders alike, and we expect further heads to roll.

            As for Glennon, if you’re in the lobby tomorrow (or his reportedly soon-to-come last day) and see him heading out the door with a cardboard box, be sure to snap a picture.  We’d love to put it up on the blog. -- Ed Hamilton

Transition Counseling for Glennon

Uh-oh Spaghetti-Os Glennon!  Marlene Krauss, Harvard MBA, was here at the Chelsea Hotel AGAIN yesterday.  Dear God, how this must be interfering with her career as an MD, Master of the Universe and bad ass corporate raider!  Additionally, her $4.5 million home on the Upper East Side continues to sit unsold on the market.  It's a good bet that she doesn't appreciate this extra aggravation.  Ah, well, perhaps there's a silver lining.  Luckily for you, even though you and BD management were quite rude and never introduced yourselves to tenants after you were foisted upon us by the minority shareholders, we're going to turn the other cheek and be helpful to you.  And, so we're offering you, free-of-charge, our valuable transition counseling services.  Today, we're actually going to save you the time and expense of hiring a service to rewrite your resume. But be forewarned, Glennon, truthful resumes are the way to go.  You don't want to get caught making stuff up by your future employer.

GLENNON TRAVIS

Brooklyn, New York(and everywhere really; I'm a citizen of the world)

Objective:
-To obtain a position where I can sit around at my desk and play Tetris and look at Internet porn

Special Skills: 

-OPD (Obnoxious Personality Disorder) Also sometimes known as assholeism.

-Ability to alienate absolutely anyone from tenants to employees and from Board Members to Union Reps

-Ability to set up an extremely embarrassing myspace page (though not willing to learn how to take one down)
-Refined Sense of Smell -- can sniff out marijuana fumes even when they're mostly imaginary

-Other Skills: Narc, Snitch, Rat, Squealer, Paranoid alarmist

Education:

-Double major in chillin' and kickin' it, dawg!

-Never graduated from hotel school, but obviously that's not relevant since I was able to land a job managing a large Manhattan hotel anyway

Hobbies: 

-Bumming around on the beach in St. Louis while listening to Reggae and drinking wine

-Hip Hotel Junky

Experience:
”Director of Operations” (Manager, to you, bitch) Chelsea Hotel
July 2007 – Present
-Lead initiative to clean hallways of bad art and useful furniture

-Slashed room rates while miraculously keeping occupancy rates low
-Contributed to the destruction of the infrastructure by booking large corporate events that clogged the halls and broke the elevators

-Proposed renaming the hotel as "Bohemian Gardens" to avoid confusion with famous art hotel of the past

-Supervised purchase of maid's carts that won't fit in the service elevator, as well as trash bins that are too small

-Oversaw the knocking-down of dust from inaccessible ledges and pipes

-Imposed and enforced many important regulations designed to restrict lifestyles of irresponsible Bohemians who have really gotten away with too much already

-Oversaw introduction of numerous errors on the new corporate website

-Developed new "Tombstone" business cards

-Outfitted doormen in Beefeater-style uniforms

Prior Experience:
Freedom Fry Chef at McDonalds
Barrister at Starbucks

Team Member at Jamba Juice

Glennon, We Hardly Knew Ye: A Recap of Glennon Travis’s Glorious Tenure at the Chelsea Hotel

Glennon Travis, we hardly knew ye.  And it’s a shame too, but certainly the fact that board member Marlene Krauss, Harvard MBA, feels she has to come to the Chelsea Hotel to micromanage its operations, does not bode well for your job security.  Still, we have our memories, and what fond memories they are: 

1.  First Impressions: When Gennon was first named “Director of Operations” in late July of last year, essentially taking over Stanley Bard’s role as day-to-day manager of the hotel, it produced in residents an odd sort of cognitive dissonance.  How could this callow youth, without even a degree in hotel management--and seemingly without the sense God gave an ass-- be expected to run the famous Chelsea Hotel?  (Turns out he wasn’t able to run the place, but that’s another story.)  For many residents, it still has yet to register that Glennon is the one in charge.

2. Tampering with the U.S. Mail: not long after Glennon arrived, all the residents received a notice in their mail box, stating:
"To prevent any confusion please be advised that BD Hotels is no longer the managing agent of the Chelsea Hotel.  All inquiries should be directed to David Elder, Office of the Manager."
A hoax, obviously, though how prescient it may yet prove!  Anyway, when I opened mine in front of Glennon, he snatched the letter out of my hand and threw it in the trash, as he did with the rest of the notices that had been delivered to residents boxes, blithely unconcerned that such actions may constitute a federal offense.  This is the kind of thing that we’ve all grown to love about Glennon: he doesn’t think; he merely acts.

3. Anti-Child policy: Not long after that Glennon made up a little white lie about a child in the building cursing a maid, which enabled him to decree, seemingly by fiat, that children (and pets) were no longer permitted to roam unattended in the common areas of the hotel.  The children laughed and did as they pleased.  At about the same time Glennon also imposed draconian restrictions on the items residents could place in the hallways—though he made seemingly random exceptions.  His latest edict is that residents must request all repairs in writing.

4. Glennon’s MySpace Page: extensive research enabled us to uncover a top-secret document that was to prove highly embarrassing to Glennon.  On the page—which anybody with a computer could accesss— the ever-professional Glennon, a self-described Eurotrash beach bum, revealed that he loves Reggae and wine, and aspires to be a hip hotel junky.

5. Wedding Registry: We found out that Glennon was getting married, and we linked to his gift registry, which included a listing for highball glasses and related bar ware, so he could have those party animals Born and Drukier (who are no doubt ruing the day they got involved with the Chelsea Hotel) come by for drinks.  (By the way, the holy ceremony is yet to occur—though we wouldn’t blame Glennon’s fiancé if she was having second thoughts about his ability to support her—so you can still send a gift!) (Photo: Richard Born and Glennon Travis partying via The NY Observer)

6.  Thanksgiving Turkey: Around Thanksgiving Chris Shott’s article in the Observer—normally a very conservative and pro-development paper—appeared, in which he called Glennon “Bizarro Bard” and “Baby Dictator.”   Shott also pointed out that Glennon treats permanent residents worse than transients—though we disputed this, since we have received numerous reports form transient guests saying that he has treated them poorly as well.